Fumbling In The Darkness
by briteskies
Summary: Set in non-canon world POST-NIHON Arc: Fai is taken by the inhabitants of this new, strange world and Kurogane is not happy. KuroFai. Warnings: Spoilers for recent chapters.


There was nothing but shadows and smoke; it was a darkness so think you could taste it. 

A single quiet splash echoed through the night a single black boot stepped into a shallow puddle that had been lurking amidst the damp concrete. He paused. His breath caught in his throat and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up the moment he realize he could not sense his presence.

He was just… gone.

"You idiot," he said harshly under his breath, completely turning about to face the direction he had come. But he wasn't sure if his statement had been directed towards the missing blonde, or himself.

He hated this world. This would only be another reason to hate it.

"Hey!" he shouted as loud as he would dare. Even in a panic, he must still follow the rules.

Never shout.

Never run.

Never go alone.

They had followed the rules, so why had this happened?

"Hey! Idiot!" again he shouted through gritted teeth. Had this been another time, another place, he might find himself suspecting the ex-mage to be up to his usual antics. He would have expected him to be hiding in the darkness to jump out and giggle all over him.

But that was a different time; a different Fai. And even still, given their situation he would like to hope that Fai would have had the sense about him to leave the joking aside. Even back then.

Now, after all that had happened. After all that they had seen together, and just being on this world alone, Fai would not have gone off on his own.

They had seen what happened to the others: the people who would disappear; to those that didn't follow the rules of this world.

Kurogane had very little time.

His ears rang with panic and he could feel his heart in his chest with every painful beat. The thought of retuning to the children to explain he had lost the mage; the thought of finding him amidst the crowds of "Taken" when the sun rose in three days drove him forward.

He_hated_ this world.

"Hey! Where are you!? Idiot!" his voice was rising. Louder. Harder. More frightened. It was not an emotion he allowed himself to feel often, but it was there.

Fear.

"FAI!" he shouted, louder still. He rarely called his name and now it echoed back to him, bouncing off the unseen walls in the distance and the fog and ringing in his ears to taunt him.

And then he heard it: footsteps.

They were slow at first; a pair of them, fading away in the distance. But they sped up almost immediately, as though they knew Kurogane had heard them.

With nothing else to go on, he followed. Blindly. As silently as possible.

The road ended ahead, they'd been there earlier. But there was an alleyway they hadn't taken. A place Kurogane didn't know.

He didn't have time to hesitate, and soon he found himself inside a weakly-lit tavern. Pale faces looked at him hungrily and dull, pale eyes scanned every inch of him. But none of them moved. They just sat there, curiously watching him from their perches of comfortable leather sofas.

In the furthest corner, vied in murky shadow, golden hair glistened with a glow that no one else in this place could have. And around his slim neck, a foreign hand rested with long, gnarled fingers a touch away from being threatening.

"Get your filthy hands off of him," he commanded. He did not holler. Did not shout. And he stared straight for the stranger with his most serious face to let them know there was no room for argument. "Now."

Fai said nothing. His single golden eye seemed to be looking elsewhere. Or not at all. His face was calm. Expressionless.

Hairs on the back of Kurogane's neck stood up again and his stomach seemed to have dropped into his left boot. He might be too late. They may have already taken him.

"Give him back."

The stranger's eyebrow rose. "This belongs to you?" he asked with a greasy smile; his sharp nose all but touching Fai's cheek.

But Fai did nothing.

"Yes," he lied. Fai did not belong to him like the stranger was referring to, but he would lie until his lungs gave out before he'd allow Fai to be taken from him by the likes of anyone; especially that man.

His left shoulder ached with as he thought: he'd not come this far to break promises, even if they were only promises to himself. No, Fai did not belong to him. Be he wasn't going to let anyone else have him, and there would be no one to stop him.

"My mistake," the stranger snarled, and the fingers around Fai's throat relaxed. The next moment, the blonde was shoved forward, away from the stranger whose cackling laugh suggested that all could not be so easy.

"If he's yours then by all means, take him."

A golden eye stared straight for him, foreboding and keen. A decidedly predatory smile slid across his normally pleasant and lovely face.

It was too late.

But there had to be something he could do. Someone would know. Surely.

He grabbed for his arm to pull him along. But Fai would not budge.

"Get off me," he snarled. "I'm not going anywhere." He pulled his arm away from his grasp violently.

Fai may as well have just slapped him in the face and spat on him. It felt just the same.

"Looks to me like you're mistaken," the stranger sniggered. "That means he's mine now. To make it easier on you… I can make you mine too."

And Kurogane saw nothing but red.

That was the last straw.

He'd fought demons and magicians before, there would be no reason he couldn't defeat this strange combination of the two; lessened strength or not.

The onlookers scattered, and Kurogane had his barely-used new sword to the stranger's throat far quicker than anyone of them had expected – including Kurogane himself.

"Give him back. Give him back or I will kill you where you stand." His voice was low and dangerous; serious as death.

"He'll be fine," the stranger swallowed his nerves down, surprised to be at the mercy of just a mere human man, "if you can get him to remember."

And he was gone. They were all gone, like smoke blown away on the wind. All of them but Fai.

It shouldn't have been that easy, but he would not complain. Good riddance to bad rubbish was as far as he was willing to take that thought.

"Are you alright?" he asked, filling their silence as Fai stood in the center of the room, watching him.

But Fai said nothing; only stared with his dangerous golden eye.

"I'm taking you back now," Kurogane said slowly. Clearly. He wasn't sure Fai was really all there. He'd never seen such a look on his face.

That was what happened to the Taken. They became someone else entirely….

"I'm not going anywhere," he practically hissed as he raised his hands. Vampiric fingernails elongated in preparation to defend himself as Kurogane slowly approached him.

He sheathed his sword quickly, in hopes it would convince Fai, or whatever it was that had hold of him, that he meant no harm.

"I'm just trying to help you," he tried explaining.

"I don't need your help," he snapped. His voice hardly even sounded like it belonged to him.

"Yes you do," he argued. He was quickly growing impatient. "You're coming with me."

A single blonde eyebrow raised in question. "You don't control me."

"Yes I do," he nearly choked on the words. They seemed like the ones he needed to be saying at the time, but he did not like or mean them.

No. He didn't control Fai. Fai was free to do what he liked. But somewhere in the back of his mind, in that tiny piece of his brain that was not concerned over the situation of Fai returning to normal so they could go home, he rather liked the idea of Fai doing what Kurogane wanted for once. He wasn't entirely sure what that meant, exactly. But it was not an unpleasant thought, as brief as it may have been.

"So snap out of it and let's go."

Pale lips smiled again, that dangerously predatory smile Kurogane had never seen until that day.

"You seriously want to fight me?" crimson eyes narrowed. He doubted there was time to fool around like this. There would be no telling when or if the demons would return for them both. No telling what would become of Fai if he were to remain in such a state for too long.

"He'll be fine if you get him to remember," the demon's voice who had taken Fai from him in the first place echoed in his mind.

Remember?

That was the true question. What did Fai need to remember?

"You sure like to get yourself into trouble, don't you," Kurogane scowled. His shoulder ached again, reminding him of his own wish; reminding him that it was all worth it in the end.

Lightly and graceful Fai circled him like a predator about to pounce.

But Kurogane knew his strength, knew his speed. He knew exactly how he moved. He'd been watching him for heavens knew how long by now. He was not intimidated. In fact, were Fai's wellbeing not in danger, the prospect of a good fight between them was strangely appealing. Not because Kurogane knew that he could beat him, but it was an alluring thought of being able to see Fai really go at something with all he had because he wanted to. Not because he thought he needed to.

He'd fight him if he had to.

"Knock it off, idiot," he warned. "Snap out of it and let's go."

"And if I don't?"

"You don't have a choice. I'll knock you out and drag your ass out of here if I have to," his thumb never left the hilt of his sword, his crimson eyes never left the other's face as they argued.

Fai grinned again.

He didn't like that grin.

He wanted Fai back. _His_ Fai.

So he attacked first.

Steel still sheathed in wood, he lunged forward and tackled him to the ground. Fai was fast, but Kurogane anticipated his speed. He knew how to counteract it and they ended with Fai squirming beneath him as Kurogane pressed the enclosed sword to his pale, slim throat.

"I haven't killed enough people to make it so you can beat me yet," he growled.

A single golden eye glared furiously, and Fai writhed and squirmed beneath him. But he said nothing.

Kurogane only matched his glare. "But I would. I will kill as many people as I have to, just to keep you safe. So snap out of it!"

But Fai only squirmed. Kicked. Screamed for Kurogane to let him go.

Their actual physical contact was far rarer than he realized; particularly as of late. In fact, the last time he recalled Fai had actually touched him was when he had walked in and punched him in the head. But even when Kurogane had been somewhat rough with him; squeezing his arms to make sure he knew he was serious, Fai never pushed him away. So it was strange to have him so aggressively trying to throw him off.

Unfortunately for Fai, Kurogane was far stronger. Vampire or not, Kurogane nearly outweighed him doubly.

"Stop," he fumed, pressing the wooden sheath harder against his pale, slender neck, digging his knees into both slender arms to keep him from moving. "Listen to me. You have to snap out of it. I'm not letting you up until you do what I tell you."

The golden eye narrowed even further.

"Get away from me," Fai said coldly in a voice that did not belong to the Fai he knew.

"What are you going to do if I do? Run away? You don't run any more, remember," he lessened the pressure of his sword. "You have no where to go. Not without me. You can't survive if you can't eat. Or did you forget that too?"

His squirming lessened a bit. The scowling golden eye seemed to flicker with slight recognition.

"I'm not going to leave you. By now, I'd hoped you knew that."

His legs stopped kicking. His fingers appeared as human as they ever did. His face softened.

"Fai?" it was the second time that day he had uttered the name. It was strange hearing himself saying it, but it was a pleasant word to say.

His body went limp beneath him. His golden eye stared blankly into nothing. For a moment, Kurogane hesitated, suspecting it might all be an act. But Fai remained limp even after he pulled his sword away from his throat, even after he unpinned his arms.

He didn't move again for several moments. Just when Kurogane was about to become concerned even more that he had broken him on accident, or possibly something worse. But when he drew in a quick, sharp breath and sat up with a scared and startled look on his face as he opened his mouth to scream, a wash of relief flooded over him.

A worried golden eye caught sight of Kurogane crouched beside him. "I… what just… Ku—Kuro-sama?"

"You're such a pain in the ass, you know," Kurogane grumbled. It took everything he had to keep his face from smiling. "Are you ok?"

Dumbfounded, and quite frankly a bit confused, Fai only blinked with one wide eye. "You…"

"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to let anyone take you away," he shook his head. "What the hell was I going to tell the kids if I'd just left you to them?" He added in the last part before the blush overtook his cheeks.

"Where are we?" Fai changed the subject quickly, unable to answer Kurogane's question.

"Some tavern," he shrugged. "They're gone now."

He scanned the room himself to confirm, gingerly rubbing at his throat as he did so. He couldn't recall why it hurt.

"We should get out of here," Kurogane motioned to the door.

But Fai seemed reluctant to move at all.

"What?" he grumbled, looking down half-way annoyed at the blonde still sitting on the floor. He just wanted to get back to the house and go to bed.

They found their way home as quickly as they could though the heavy darkness. Syaoran was sitting patiently on the couch waiting for them. Sakura was asleep as always.

"No feather?" he asked solemnly.

"Not tonight," Kurogane shook his head.

Every day they stayed there, they seemed more to be on borrowed time. Kurogane didn't like that, especially now that he knew what he had to do.

Fai kept his gaze on his own feet. His head felt groggy, and he was sore for reasons he couldn't explain. He gave a brief, polite smile to the boy on the couch before continuing down the hallway towards his own room.

He just wanted to sleep.

But as he lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness he found that he could not fully sleep. Something was bothering him. The emptiness of his barren room seemed to be swallowing him in the endless night of this horrible world.

He was tired of being alone.

There was only one light on at the end of the hallway. The last room. Kurogane's. He smiled to himself as he slowly padded down the hallway in the darkness.

So dark. So alone. He hated it here.

"Kuro-sama?" he poked his head through the door without fully entering.

He sat on the edge of his bed, synthetic steel stretched out in front of him extending and retracting fingers he hadn't been born with. He did it every night; always trying to get a better feel for it. Get used to moving something he should have complete control over.

Fai's gaze fell to the floor. He was still uncomfortable looking at it. Not because of it's appearance, but because of what it meant. It was hard to not look at it every time and blame himself. Hate himself.

But he was trying not to do that anymore.

Because he had something to live for now. Not something to die for. It was a hard concept to grasp after living life by the later for so long.

"Can I come in?"

"I don't care," he gave a partial shrug, not pausing in his exercises.

He was massaging his neck again. Kurogane noticed it right away.

"Sorry," he grumbled without looking at the blonde who stood before him little more than boxers and an over sized t-shirt.

"What for?"

"Your throat. That's my fault. You weren't cooperating."

Fai giggled. "I guess I should be sorry too then. I… I wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"Doing… what you did."

He paused, a dumbstruck look on his face he couldn't hardly move. "Well that's a first," he chuckled; lowering his newest arm to his side.

"You didn't have to."

"What else did you think I was going to do? You can't seriously be surprised, can you? I've got too much invested in you to just give you up now. That would be annoying." He shrugged as though it was obvious and nothing to be thought about. To him, he supposed it was.

"You always say such funny things, Kuro-sama."

"You don't seem to pick up on things if I don't," he said flatly.

Fai kept quiet. It had been a long time since he had been so interested in his feet.

"Is that what you came in here for?" Kurogane pressed on. It was weird having the other just standing there being quiet. Saying nothing.

He hid his eyes under long strands of golden hair. "Sort of."

"Did you want something else?" a black eyebrow raised out of vague annoyance and partial curiosity. He couldn't help noticing the blonde was acting weird, even by Fai-standards.

"I can't sleep."

For a moment, Kurogane was at a loss for words. He had to say something quick before Fai looked up to see the blush in his cheeks. It was annoying that he was getting so bad at controlling it. "Well what am I supposed to do about it?" he finally blurted out, a little bit more defensively than he had intended, but he blamed Fai for it for throwing him off guard.

"Can I stay in here for a while?" he didn't look up as he asked. "I promise I'll be quiet."

And Kurogane laughed.

Hard.

He couldn't quite remember laughing so hard in fact. And he didn't quite know why laughing seemed like the thing to do. Perhaps is was some sort of relief. Some sort of random elation that he was taking as a good sign.

He would not regret his decision after all, but it was often seen as somewhat one sided. Kurogane, over time, had come to care so deeply for the other that there was nothing he would not consider doing to keep him by his side. So much so, he never stopped to think how Fai really felt about it; if he would do the same. He supposed he was blinded enough by him that he didn't really care.

"You can stay," he said after suppressing his laughter and silently hoping he hadn't waken anyone.

But Fai stood there with a plainly confused look on his face.

Kurogane only smiled, happy to be able to see true expressions from him finally, rather than his smile he both loved and hated.

"You're an idiot," Kurogane shook his head, hoping that that would be enough of an answer. Not that it was an answer at all, but it was much easier than any sort of explanation.

Fai giggled to, though it was more because it seemed awkward to just stand there and say nothing. And because permission to stay really gave him free reign over the room, he crawled up onto the bed and sat near the pillows with his chin tucked to his knees and watched Kurogane resume his exercises.

Kurogane finished. And soon, he turned off the lights. In silence, he closed the door and slipped under the covers. He gave no indication that Fai should leave. He wasn't going to. He was completely alright if he stayed.

For some time, he sat there in the darkness. Unmoving. Silent. Until Kurogane finally asking him if he was still having trouble sleeping.

"I guess," he shrugged. "I'm sorry. I'm keeping you up aren't I? I'll go now."

But as he moved to leave, he was caught by the wrist.

"Are you going to sleep any better if you leave?"

His face felt instantly hot, and he was glad to be in darkness so that Kurogane could not see the blush he knew was there. He had no idea what to say.

"I said its alright if you stay," he shrugged, telling himself that it was nothing.

A softened smile on his face, he understood that he didn't have to say anything. Doing his best not to disturb him, he slipped under the covers as well and rest his head on the pillow.

It was the same darkness that was everywhere. It covered the entire world. But it seemed so much lighter. He could actually breathe.

"Kuro-sama?" his voice was soft. Gentle.

A sleepy mumble was all he got. It really was getting late.

He wasn't sure what he had meant to say. He just felt like there was something that he _should_ say. Things between them were so much different than they ever had been before yet there still remained so much unsaid. He hoped one day that he would be able to say them. But for now, "Good night," would suffice.

Eventually, they both fell asleep facing one another in the heavy darkness, close enough to hear the other breathe but not quite touching. Both were still so afraid to be the first to do so.

In the world where the sun only rose every 96 hours, darkness was even during what some would call the "day." People woke when they were finished sleeping. And they slept when they were tired. It was a strange thing to get used to, and they hoped that they wouldn't really have to.

This world was so depressing, it was all they could do to keep from giving up and moving on. But that wasn't like any of them to do.

Fai stayed in the house with Sakura then next time; mostly due to Kurogane's strict orders. And Kurogane and Syaoran went out for what seemed like years while he stayed home and cooked them dinner and straightened the house.

When they returned, Syaoran ate quickly and disappeared into his room for the night. He had insisted that he was just tired, but even Kurogane knew that wasn't why. Syaoran wasn't stupid. And part of him was somewhat thankful.

The other part was a little embarrassed and shy for it, but he hoped it wasn't obvious.

They stayed up and talked for a while. About the world. About their plans. But about other things too. About Kurogane's life in Nihon. About Fai's life on Celes. They could talk about things now. Wrapped in darkness, they began to learn that it was ok.

He lay awake, wide eyed; his table lamp dimmed slightly so a light would still be on and noticeable from under the door. He wondered if it was stupid to be waiting. If he was truly serious, he should break down and be the one to go.

But he also well understood that Fai was still incredibly fragile. He had a whole new life and purpose to live, and plenty of inner demons to slay. In his own time, maybe he would come around.

He was so lost in his own thoughts however, the creak of the door startled him.

"I can't sleep," he whispered, still standing in the door way. His blonde hair was a mess, which made Kurogane instantly curious as to what he had been up to.

"You can stay," he shrugged, doing his best at pretending it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing. Not to him.

It was what he had been staying awake for. Hoping for. It was why the light was still on.

For five nights, it was the same. They would say their good nights, Syaoran would be in bed, and Fai would tip toe down the hallway and insist he couldn't sleep.

On the sixth night, Fai did not even ask. He just slipped in silently and turned off the light and crawled under the covers.

"Good night, Kuro-sama," he murmured happily, snuggling into his pillow.

But he couldn't handle it any more. Not after five nights of listening to him breathe or catching a scent of his hair, not after so many nights of trying to move and touch him on accident. And certainly not after Fai's dinner that evening…

He didn't eat every day. Kurogane had never really been sure how it worked, but Fai would at least ask him now when he got hungry. Being overly protective of his one good arm, Fai now drank from his neck…So all evening he'd been trying to drive the thought of Fai licking up and down his neckline out of his mind, and now there he was curled up beside him.

Quite frankly, it was driving him crazy.

He'd told himself he would not let things like that get to him, but given the circumstances, he wasn't sure he could help it. It certainly was tying him up in the shower longer every morning at least. And after six nights of being so close to one another when Fai had his own perfectly good sized bed to sleep in, surely that meant something.

It was still uncomfortable and tender to lay on his left side, things pinched and prodded where he wasn't sure they should, not to mention the metal was cold against his bare skin. He'd never cared to sleep with a shirt on unless it was particularly cold or he had to for some strange reason.

Luckily, Fai was to his right, laying on the flat of his stomach like he almost always slept. Kurogane wondered if he had any idea how vulnerable it made him look. How easy a prey it made him.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, warm fingers reached out to him. Just a touch on the shoulder. A gentle brush across the thin fabric of his shirt. A tiny gesture to let him know what he wanted.

For a moment, Fai didn't move. It was as though it had taken a moment to register. "Kuro-sama?" he whispered, and Kurogane could hear the rustle of fabric and the shift of weight at his side.

"Hmnm?" was all he could manage to get out.

For a moment, he thought that Fai was going to ask him something. Tell him something. Maybe even move further away, or get up. Instead, warm arms slid around his torso, and with every breath he could smell his shampoo as Kurogane soon lay with his chin rested on the top of a blonde head. Every inch of them touched, and for the longest time they remained like that, unmoving and silent. Just laying in silence wrapped up in one another.

Eventually they would leave that world and move on the another. As much as things were ever changing for them, there were something's that were always the same. It was only after that world of darkness however, that the two of them understood that they would never have to be alone again.

* * *

_Thank you for reading! _


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